Fan Fiction:
*Transcribed, unedited, from an un-dated (late 80’s ?), one-page A4 typed script…
It may serve to mention, from the point of view of context, that I’m a fan of aspects of pop-culture though would never count myself as a Godzilla Super-Fan – the intent, ambition, scope and visual effects of the films I find endlessly fascinating, however.
I rattled this off during one of the many “quiet” periods in my patchy freelance career on my Dad’s old typewriter, in caps (?) and like a lot of writing it has ended up in an old animation paper box – a lot of that writing – pitches and short film scripts – is pretty terrible looking at it now but this always stands out because it came out in one go almost like poetry – if I have a fault it’s over-thinking things…
“Godzilla – In Search of a Style”
Godzilla’s day off, reading or putting his feet up and playing with the Nintendo.
I was never sure exactly who I was, I mean, I had this continual identity crisis…so, I went to Art School….I toyed with the idea of being a cartoonist, and then maybe a rock star, who knows…
After a few years of doing the rounds, I realized that this wasn’t for me, they all said the same thing : “You don’t have a style…you’re too versatile, people want to get to know an illustrator, ten years from now you can’t be someone else…”
So, I tried animation…I mean what do these guys want ???…they say “Be Yourself” but what am I ???…I want to be someone else most of the time. So, I went to a friend…he said that what marks a great actor is that in real life, they’re pretty much nonentities…(Huh, like me ??)…some friend…but when they get on that stage, they can con you into thinking, believing, that they are that other person…
…So I need a psychiatrist, right ?..he said, I need a girl…but who wants a hundred foot green lizard with zits the size of a house for a boyfriend, I ask you ?
Anyway, I was pretty down about everything by then…so I went to the movies a lot – ever wonder exactly who that guy was clowning around in a rubber suit in all those terrible Japanese monster flicks ?…and what they did when they went home ?…and whether he ever wanted to be recognized or give his autograph to kids ?
No, me neither but it passes the time, you know.
My pictures were getting better…I mean they were more “Me”, like… (I was still seeing the shrink) and I had got into what I called “Deconstructionist Sculpture”, sort of models of big cities where I rampaged around with a flame-thrower in my gob. These were getting some attention in the art world and some contemporary galleries, and, as luck would have it, it was at one of these private views that I met a Japanese film-maker, Ishiro Honda, or something…
Honda was something, he loved my work from the start and apart from being a raving lunatic he said he thought that I would be a great star in Japan.. (doing what ?)…you know, up to that point, I was on the verge of chucking it all in and becoming a serial killer on a grand scale, I mean, stuff the art world and all those wankers…and then along comes old Ishiro and saves the day.
So, here I am in Tokyo – I’ve finally found a niche for myself by being me…my metier…I tried the acting bit once before (sorry, I missed that out..), all the roles, but I got the feeling that I was trying to be someone else all the time, until no one could recognize the real me – I tried doing a “Winston Churchill” for an audition once but ended up flambeing everyone in sight…
…Mind you, the guy in the rubber suit never forgave me for pinching his job…
End.
*A lot of illegible side-notes in the margins, in biro.
Ravi Swami – 2019